To be blessed twice with such love as I once shared would be to be truly twice blessed and receive more riches than most men can ever receive. Men would only pauper be lest they find just once that love that I cannot frame with words, for to do so is but injustice to the joy that light that love doth bring. To only live in its shadow is but blessing indeed and more than most could ever know. But once fear resides and grows cancerous in its very lighted heart, only darkness can inward seep and rot the very frame that holds such beauty.
Yet here am I, blinded by the darkest night; the moon herself fears to tread the inky canvas stained with the marks of every joyous lover’s heart. Only the rain is witness to such deathly sorrow, and it is no gentle bedfellow to warm the cheeks and stir the heart when the winds howl at the cracked panes of this house in which I now dwell. Though here I am, a man twice blessed and unrequited still, my foolish head rages on with my simple heart. If only it were not so, but it is so, and had it been different would I have loved or found either spirit? I shall never know, but only know that I have been blessed with love and wait for the wheel to turn and touch me once again. And oh how bright shall burn the next.
– October 1999
– Ich kann nicht einschlafen ohne dich